Getting started with Partnered Relationship Therapy

Partnered Relationship Therapy for people who are in a relationship together looks a little different to individual therapy at the start, as we want to make sure we have really good foundations.

The assessment process starts with a set of four sessions which look like:

1. Session One - Your Relationship Story (partnered session)

2. Session Two - Partner A's individual history, background, family information, etc.

3. Session Three - Partner B's individual history, background, family information, etc.

4. Session Four - Agreeing our Goals & Plan (partnered session)

The Assessment process takes approx. 4 hours in total, split over the four sessions. We'll have a conversation about the best way to divide up the time when we are booking the sessions in.

For relationships where there are more than two partners planning on coming to the therapy sessions, then we'll have extra Individual history sessions, and the whole process might take approx. 5-6 hours in total instead.

Session One - Your Relationship Story

In the first session, we'll take some time to talk through how each person sees the main issues or hurdles that the relationship is facing. I'll also want to know about your relationship - how you first met, what have been the high points and the low points, where you are now, and where you might want to be in the future.

If one of your goals is based on increasing communication or improving conflict, then I might also use some of the time for you to show me how you normally disagree or deal with different points of view - by acting out a disagreement in the session (I promise it's not as bad as it might sound!).

Session Two & Three - Individual Sessions

This is the only time in the relationship therapy where I have a session with just one partner.

This is not an individual therapy session, but an opportunity for us to go through your family history, important information about your health etc., your relationship history, and any past experiences you've had of therapy. The information I gain in these individual session is designed to feed back into the relationship therapy process, so I have a good idea of where everyone is starting from.

If I am given information during the individual sessions that has a bearing on the relationship & the therapy - then we will need to think about how this information is going to be shared.

I've written about how we handle information, privacy & confidentiality in relationship therapy in a post here, which I would love you to read ahead of the individual partner sessions.

Session Four - Agreeing our Goals & Plan

In the final assessment session, we will all meet together again and try to sum up everything we've been gathering over the past few weeks. If I've asked you to complete any questionnaires, we can bring in the results of those too.

During this session, we can talk through where the strengths are within the relationship, check that everyone still has a shared idea of the main issues or hurdles, and then discuss what the main goal(s) should be.

As part of this we could also look at the checkpoints that you might want to aim for along the way - thinking about how we will know that we're still going in the right direction.

Then we'll look at the logistics of when, where, and how long we're going to meet for. We'll also agree our review points - usually at around Session 10.

Session length

A standard therapy session is 50-minutes long, which may work well for you. Or for some people they may prefer another session length, e.g. 60, 80, or 90 minutes long.

We can weigh up the best option for your needs, accessibility, and budget (bearing in mind that longer sessions have a different cost).

Session frequency

I usually recommend weekly sessions to start with, to allow us to gather some momentum. Reducing down to fortnightly sessions can also be really effective if you want more time at home to practice some of the techniques.

Relationship Therapy intensives (meeting more that once per week) is something that I can discuss on a case-by-case basis, depending on the goal and the recommended approaches we're hoping to use.

Session location

I often work online, providing that everyone has access to a good internet connection & a safe, private space to join the call from.

I also have therapy rooms in Lewes and in Brighton where we can meet in-person.

Session Five - Getting Underway

This is the exciting part, where we can start to put the plan into motion. It might seem strange to "start" the therapy on Session 5, but the assessment process gives us all the information to make sure we are planning the journey route correctly. It would really disappointing to jump straight in, only to find out later that we'd been going in the wrong direction.

I hope that this guide helps to demystify the assessment process for you. If you have any question, remember that you can get in touch with me at any point!

Find out more about partnered relationship therapy or partnered psychosexual therapy with me here: https://www.rebeccawilsongreen.com/psychosexual-therapy